Sunday, June 19, 2016

7 Reasons Why I Prefer Old Beyoncé Over 2016 Beyoncé

Beyoncé is inarguably one of the biggest recording artists of all time and nearly every person on the planet loves her.

What's not to love? She has an amazing voice, she's beautiful and she has that strong-independent-woman vibe.

But honestly, I love 2009 Beyoncé a lot more than 2016 Beyoncé.

So here is my list of 7 reasons why I'll always prefer Sasha Fierce to Queen Bee.

7: Her Lyrics Were A Lot More Relatable Than They Are Now

Back in the days of Best Thing I Never Had and If I Were A Boy, you could completely relate to what Bey was saying. Calling out all the guys who did her wrong was something you could sing along passionately (and badly) to, because you probably felt the same way at some point.

Nowadays with songs like 6 Inch and Don't Hurt Yourself, it's a little bit harder to belt it out in the car as if you were singing it to your sh*tty ex-boyfriend.

I mean, as much as it's powerful, it feels kind of strange singing

"You ain't married to no average bitch boy
You can watch my fat ass twist boy
As I bounce to the next dick boy
And keep your money, I've got my own
Keep a bigger smile on my face, being alone
Bad motherfucker, God complex,
Motivate your ass, call me Malcom X"

when you really think about it. There's so much criteria you need. For this verse alone you need to

1) Be married
2) Have as great an ass as Beyonce *crying*
3) Have money *laughing*
4) Be happy being alone *crying*

I, and many others, just don't make the cut.

6: Some Of Her Lyrics Now Don't Make A Lot Of Sense

When Bey released Irreplaceable you got the message: guy did something bad, she dumped him, he thinks she needs him, she knows she can have any other guy she wants, and so on and so forth. But lately, some of the lyrics are kind of random. Like when she collaborated on Drunk In Love with her husband, Jay Z, and kept saying "Surfbort, Surfbort, Surfbort".

A-Z Lyrics (.com) claim you're saying "surfboard" but I hear through the lies Beyoncé.

5: She Used To Be Far More... Human

To clarify myself, Beyoncé used to dress more like a normal human being, whereas today she always looks like she's trying to go for that immortal-inhuman look. Everybody knows Beyoncé is physically flawless, I don't think she has to worry so much about looking that way.

2009                                                                                                   2016

I refuse to believe that a silicone dress is in any way comfortable.

4: She's Still Married To Jay-Z, Who Suspectedly Cheated On Her

You're better than this B.

3: Best Thing I Never Had, Halo, If I Were A Boy, Irreplaceable, and Broken Hearted Girl Were All Released Over Five Years Ago

In my personal opinion, all of Beyoncé's greatest songs were released years ago, and I don't really love her newer songs as much as the old ones. There's just something so amazing about the older ones that seems to have been lost in a quest to stay on top of the game. 

2: She May Or May Not Have Gotten Plastic Surgery She Didn't Need

It's rumoured that Beyoncé upgraded her B cups for D cups and altered her nose to appear smaller and thinner. 

Now, before we get off on the wrong foot, I hold nothing against plastic surgery. I think anything that makes you feel better about yourself is a great thing... if you psychologically need it. But I don't think Queen B was in need of any confidence boosters amidst the beginnings of her career and she was already beautiful as she was. I just feel it was unnecessary. 

1: Destiny's Child

Will anyone ever really get over the loss of Destiny's Child?

Nevertheless, Beyoncé will always be a Queen to me,



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