Friday, June 24, 2016

Harry Styles Is Going Solo

Could've seen that one coming.

So it appears that Billboard released a statement from different sources that Harry Styles has signed or is signing a solo contract with Columbia.

You know, I never liked One Direction. I mean, from the rest of my blog you can probably tell that boy band pop isn't my style, but One Direction in particular has always been bothersome to me. I never minded the Jonas Brothers or Backstreet Boys, but One Direction in particular was it's own unique version of irritating.

But, at least it was less of a hassle to hate them when they were all together.

With members leaving the band, the amount of bad pop music being made will double with each and every separation. You see, having just the band all together (Malik, Payne, Styles, Horan, Tomlinson) they would only release one album around once a year. I can handle that.
But since Zayn Malik's split from the band (and unnecessary surname dropping) the amount of music has doubled. Now, alongside, the releases of One Directions singles and albums we are also being given even more irritating work from Malik.

Actually, to be honest, Malik's recent solitude has made me think One Direction isn't that bad (Lord help me). At least they're just embracing the title of Boy Band whilst adhering to the terms of being do-gooders to please their 11-14 year old fans. Malik's music is absolute rubbish. It's like everything else being made right now: over produced, auto-tuned, soft-voiced, and lacking of originality. It sounds like every other song you hear on the radio, because that's what it is. It's the now commonplace sound of someones voice being altered into oblivion and any other song on the Billboard's backing track changed around a little to make it seem somewhat different.

Literally all Zayn Malik has done is whisper something he had eight (essentially uncredited) people write for him while he had himself filmed making out with a model.

He's another replica of Nick Jonas. Actually, you can barely tell the two apart.

And what's with the whole wRItInG SoNG TiTLes liKE ThIS? wHY?

So back to the topic of Harry Styles going solo: I don't know if I can handle it. I don't know if I can survive another overproduced fake bad-boy singing the same f*cking song remixed around for the hundredth time.

I do have a little bit more faith in Styles. But only a little. To me he comes across as less of a d*uchebag. As if he actually just likes making music and being a well known person but lacks a great amount of talent.

If he just tries to be himself and sings things he wants, then we shouldn't have a problem.

But I swear. to. God.

I swear. to. f*cking God Harry, if you release a song named after a breakfast food and start wearing metal sleeves to red carpet events I will find you,

and I will kill you.

I'm watching you boy,


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