Friday, July 1, 2016

Demi Lovato Released New Single: "Body Say" And I Hate It

I'm fairly sure you can tell by the title that I did not enjoy this.

First things first, I want to say that I've always disliked Demi Lovato.

Growing up with Lovato in Disney wasn't the same as growing up with Selena Gomez in Disney. Selena Gomez *used to be* fun for me to watch on TV. When she played Alex on Wizards Of Waverly Place and Mary Santiago in Another Cinderella Story, I have to admit, I loved her. She was my idol.

That was until she started pretending to sing. But that's another story.

Growing up with Lovato, I never liked her. Not as Sonny on Sonny With A Chance and not as Mitchie in Camp Rock. Actually, I really didn't like her. She bothered me to the fiery hole of my core. And that's a whole lot of contempt to come from a 9 year old girl.

So I've never really been surprised by how much I hate Demi as a musician as well. She's just awful. The autotune is just blatant, the backing is sh*tty pop, she doesn't write sh*t, and you gain absolutely nothing in your life by listening to it.

(Cool For The Summer - Written by Max Martin and three other producers. Skyscraper - Written by three inconsequential writers. Confident - Written by Max Martin and two other people)

And typically, if Lovato has released a new song, I wouldn't bother to listen. But since it is my duty, as a now dedicated music blogger, I decided I should probably give it a go.

I had the image in my head already: Another Heart Attack or Skyscraper (which both sound absolutely the f*cking same). It was just going to be another Demi Lovato song. The same song, with the same lyrical basis, the same autotune, the same unnecessary screaming to make it appear as though she has a good voice, and the same 2012-esque pop background.

But I was wrong. I was so, completely, irrevocably, wrong.

I could not tell this song apart from a Selena Gomez song. If you had put a gun to my head yesterday  and said "GUESS WHO IT IS OR YOU DIE" I would have said Selena Gomez. And died.

But at least I wouldn't have to listen to it anymore.

It's like they remixed Selena Gomez's - Same Old Love (which I actually like by the way) really badly and then had a diet version of Gomez sing it really, really badly, with really, really bad autotune.

You know how Selena Gomez whispers now so that she can fake having usable vocal chords? And how Lovato has always gone the Scream-My-Lungs-Out-Until-They-Believe-I-Can-Sing route? Well Demi has decided to take Selena's approach instead apparently.

Another way I can describe it is if you recreated Zayn Malik or Justin Bieber as a female robot and told her to whisper sh*tty, sexual lyrics into a microphone. I mean, at least Swift and Gomez haven't needed to resort to sexually explicit bullsh*t to sell songs.

It was actually like taking PILLOWTALK and What Do You Mean, mashing them up, and changing the lyrics to sound like a sexually promiscuous female.

Literally the whole song is basically "Come do me, touch me, oh yeah baby, sex sex sex"

Is that all they do? Does Demi just pay a bunch of people and they call her up every so often and say "Hey Demi, we need you to repeat these words into the microphone for like three minutes and we'll take care of the rest."?

Is that how she's built a semi-career?

There's nothing likeable about Demi Lovato. She doesn't have a great personality, she says annoying cr*p all the time, she tries to convince the masses to pity her, and she's 100% talentless.

Why is this person making music?

I can only imagine how f*cking fantastic the video's going to be.

Agitatedly yours,


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1 comment:

  1. you just described all the reasons i find mainstream pop music lame.