Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Why You Should Put Your IPhones Away At Concerts

As anyone who read my previous post would know, I recently went to see two alternative pop bands perform at The Mod Club in Toronto. (I wasn't impressed, as you can read here).

But I needed to make a separate post, strictly about the crowd.

A whole post about the crowd? I must be crazy, huh? Well, I need to rant about this a little.

When you're jammed in a small venue full with people, you really get to know the fanbase of a particular band. And I validated what I had predicted previously: alternative bands fanbases are annoying as f*ck.

I'll tell you this, the entire crowd was made up of two types of people:

1) Self-obsessed, self-hating, attention-seeking, black Doc Martens-wearing, I-have-anxiety-and-I-think-I'm-special-because-I-make-tumblr-edits, under-19, pains in my -ss.

2) early-twenties, Kardashian-blonde-braid-wearing, I-only-buy-makeup-from-Mac, girls with their I'm-just-here-as-not-to-piss-of-my-high-maintenece-girlfriend boyfriends.

The former was the majority.

They were everywhere. Like a plague. Like a plague that swooped over the entire building, that nobody who possessed it could realize what was happening but I somehow already had a vaccine (I'm assuming having deleted Tumblr was the vaccine).

Their obsessive tears ruining their sweaty looking contour and Naked 2 palette makeup while their black combat boots repeatedly accidentally smashing down on my ballerina flats like f*cking *ssholes.

But the way they look wasn't what really agitated me. You thought I was done, didn't you?

Oh no, not even remotely close.

For the entire concert, and I mean the entire concert, from beginning to end, I could barely see anything past all the f*cking IPhones.

Every. Single. Person. in the crowd had their IPhone held up high in the air recording the show as opposed to actually watching it. Facebooking and Snapchatting and Instagramming like little millennial savages. Half of them with their flashes on, blinding me and the artists performing.

Really? Are you f*cking kidding me?

You came here to watch and listen to these artists and you haven't removed your eyes from a screen for any of it? You're not even seeing them, you're seeing images of them through your phone you ignorant, millennial, idiots.

Do I sound mad? Because I am. I'm very mad.

Look, I'm sorry, but if you go to a concert and watch it through your phone, you didn't see a show. You didn't experience it. You're an imbecile.

I get it, it's 2016, so take a picture, record a little video. But then please, for the love of God, put your d*mn phone in your f*cking pocket and watch the show.

Now, I would have photo evidence of all of these tumblrized pains-in-my-*ss but I'm not one of the imbeciles who had my f*cking cell phone out. So you'll just have to believe it.

The Twenty One Pilots concert earlier this year seemed much different somehow, much more respectful. And the only IPhone use was when everyone brought up white screens for Goner, which was actually beautiful in an ironic way.

So there you go. Rant done. I hate the world and everything in it. See ya later,

Irritatedly yours,


P.s. Reason #1 Why Not To Use Your Phone At A Concert (Maybe this will give you extra incentive not to): 

I will f*CkinG puNcH YOU

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